Je m’appelle Taran. J’ai douze ans. J’habite à Leicester. Mon anniversaire c’est le vingt septembre.
J’ai un frère et deux sœurs.Il s’appelle Gurpinder et elles s’appellent Gurpreet et Satinder. Gurpinder a vingt – sept ans, Gurpreet a vingt – huit ans et Satinder a vingt deux ans. J’aime bien Gurpinder parce qu’il est amusant mais il est aussi pénible. J’aime bien Gurpreet parce qu’elle est sympa et intelligente. J’aime bien Satinder parce qu’elle est amusante et grande.
J’ai un chien. Il s’appelle Shane et il a deux ans. Il est brun. J’adore Shane parce qu’il est amusant. Je voudrais un hamster parce que selon moi ils sont mignons.
i think it was really good and he wrote quite a lot.
the good things about it was firstly that he used lots of adejctives and secondly he used some punctuation.
he can improve it by in some places chaging jaime bien into something else as he used it 3 times.
Posted by: bejal p | 01/16/2009 at 04:35 PM
nice liked your work best so far and really liked what you wrote but can't think anything bad about it so well maybe use larger font size.
Posted by: rohit p | 01/16/2009 at 09:51 PM
star=wrote quite alot
star=really really good
wish=stop repition
Posted by: Ajaaz A | 01/17/2009 at 01:54 PM
1. Wrote loads
2. Nice vocabulary and...
could have used different describing words you used j'aime a lot
Posted by: Uma A | 01/18/2009 at 12:45 PM
Wow actually i thought it was quite gooood!
Star!!: Well it weas very well explained and well detailed!
Star!!: He did not write too much and i thought it was a right amount!
Wish!!: However, i think there was a lot of j'aimes in it. but it was wicked!
Posted by: Ashini.S | 01/18/2009 at 10:01 PM
Wow actually i thought it was quite gooood!
Star!!: Well it weas very well explained and well detailed!
Star!!: He did not write too much and i thought it was a right amount!
Wish!!: However, i think there was a lot of j'aimes in it. but it was wicked!
Posted by: Ashini.S | 01/18/2009 at 10:02 PM
STAR(*)= Good vocab
STAR(*)= Wrote loads
WISH= stop repition
Posted by: Neel R | 01/19/2009 at 08:52 PM